Thank You for Serving

I missed the VA! Never have I felt so secure in my belonging then I do volunteering on the night shift at the VAMC. Since I don't find much opportunity to socialize in my regular life (still trying to figure out how it's done without going to a bar) some of the people I work with I have come to consider my favorite friends. Of course, momma has always been my best friend, so nothing new there. I loved how people actually missed me being there. How they listened with interest about my vacation. More than anything, my friends at the VA all displayed genuine interest in this journey I am taking towards procuring the OmniPod. As professional health care workers, RNs and NCTs, they all have an understanding about diabetes, and for the most part they can recognize certain challenges I face. I love when I am explaining my difficulty with regulation and someone just looks me in the eye and says, "that sucks." They get it. They care. And they're interested and excited about what I'm doing, about what I'm trying to make happen. I'm always a little surprised when people, especially people I consider to be successful, intelligent professionals, relate to me about certain things. When people like me. Maybe I do have a little self-esteem deficiency, and I didn't realize it. I finally feel apart of, and it doesn't concern substance abuse or psych. disorders. Imagine that.
I also enjoy being on the other side, helping people to get better when they are unwell instead of my laying in the hospital bed hooked to IV bags and having somebody else measure my urine output every time I go to the bathroom. Now I get to measure other people's output! I know, that's a little weird, but it's nice to know that because I've experienced being a patient so many times, it's easier for me to empathize and connect with some of these vets that I do my best to help feel better. And often I am happy to say I do make a difference. I have been told so by the mouths of the patients themselves. That I helped them, that they feel better. I am so happy and grateful that I get to experience the act of volunteering, being rewarded with gratitude and hope instead of a paycheck. Don't get me wrong, I would love to get paid, but I get to focus on something greater for the time being without having to worry about meals or shelter. Thanks, momma! More than anything, I greatly appreciate this new awareness of balance and seeking control with my diabetes because I get to share with other diabetic vets who struggle with the disease, of whom there are several. I know I always felt better about my diabetes after I could share with another person that really gets it, so I hope that I am providing that for others. I love it at the VA, and I know this is something I want to do for the rest of my life (and nurses seem to work for their WHOLE life).
As for my diabetes, my first couple of shifts I struggled with my night shift schedule, as predicted, but I believe I got the hang of it. It might take a little longer to get it right, but I have plenty of help and support at the VA. I'm not worried.