It's a lonely feeling when the people you want to get "it" the most just don't get it. They might not feel the need to explore how others feel or they are just ignorant, I don't know. Maybe they are incapable. What I'm doing feels so unimportant when my dad's eyes glaze over as he ignores these changes I'm so excited to share with him, make him apart. I am, too. I can barely contain myself when I look back at my numbers and see that I am finally taking the actions I've been dreading and avoiding. This is the most important metamorphasis in my life (as of yet). I mean, this could be the difference between life and death one day, if not everyday. My dad not exhibiting some sort of excitement about this momentous event to me feels like he doesn't give a poo if I choose living with diabetes as opposed to living the way I was before, which would essentially be the same as offing myself. I know I'm a tres sensitive silly person, that I am a little dramatic; basically, my heart breaks like a windshield spiderwebs with the tiniest tink from a flying pebble. So be it, I've almost become used to it. My whole family loves me, I know this, I'm grateful. I won't let someone else's lack of enthusiasm curb my own. Besides, I have so much support from others for which to attribute nothing but gratitude. For instance, the small but great following of three I have for this blog. Thanks. I know dad cares about me, loves me. Is it so bad, though, to want more people to appreciate this? Maybe other people just pale in comparison to the overwhelming support of others. That's probably it. It all comes down to expectations.
No comments:
Post a Comment