Soon I Will Be Able To...

1. Spend the night with a friend on a whim, without having to worry if I have enough syringes and my different insulins.

2. Have dinner out of the house without having to risk inquiring stares, offending a needle-phobe, or excusing myself from the table to go to the bathroom to stab myself each time that I need to.

3. Not having to worry about my nephew growing, me unaware, just enough to be able to reach my needles or insulin and play with them like they are toys.

4. Have the meals and snacks that I love, and, with the carb ratio stored into a memory bank along with many common foods, only have to do the math one time. From then on out it will be at the push of a button.

5. Not have to tell everyone in the world my business by pulling out a needle and a bottle of insulin in front of them. If it's one of those days on which I don't feel like sharing or being the unofficial diabetes educator that comes along with the territory (which happens every once in a while), I don't have to. I'll just hit my buttons on my little machine and go about my business.

These are just a few things that I realized in the course of my day yesterday. I went to a BBQ for a friend's birthday, and after being invited to stay the night instead of the 40 minute ride home, had to go and buy a pack of syringes to make it through the next day. I had to ask if anyone around me would be bothered by the sight of needles( I've had that experience), and after hearing a yes, excused myself to the restroom for my shot and each subsequent poke. My sister called and told me that I needed to find a new spot for my needles at her house because my 20 month old nephew could now reach them. He could have so easily hurt himself. The food at the party was delicious, but some of it I had no idea of the carbohydrates, so I tried to look most of it up by the ingredients, but would have no idea how to retain that information should I encounter it again at another party. It would be nice to not have to look things up every time I want to eat or run into a great meal that I have already looked up before. At every public/ social event, once my diabetes has become known for any reason, there is going to be at least one person with a couple of questions and/ or statements of ignorance. Most of the time I don't mind, and it feels like my responsibility to spread the truth to those who don't know or want to know more about this disease, but sometimes I really just don't feel like it!
My experience as a diabetic will soon change in ways I probably have not even imagined. Not to mention the real benefit: tighter control. Things such as the aforementioned would not have really depressed me, but they would have affected me on any other day. Yesterday, they made me smile because I knew this change was coming, and could not help but enjoy the moment.